A Lion in the House - Community Service Kit

THE IMPACT OF CANCER ON SIBLINGS: Helping Siblings of Children
With Cancer Face the Future With Strength, Courage and Hope

by Melanie Goldish
Executive Director
SuperSibs!

When a child is diagnosed with cancer it’s as if everyone in the family is suddenly trapped on a very long and frightening roller coaster ride with unexpected twists and turns, often lasting for many years. While there is a lot of focus on finding a cure for cancer, supporting the child with cancer and even helping the parents cope, little attention has been paid to the needs of brothers and sisters during (and long after) this difficult life challenge. When a child is diagnosed with cancer, everyone in the family needs healing and support, including the siblings.

Here is what one teen wrote:

I had school to attend, so while mom and dad were at the hospital with my brother, I stayed with relatives. I felt so alone and all I wanted was to be with my family. I had to take on a lot of the household chores as mom was rarely home. It was so hard. At night, I would often cry myself to sleep because I missed her and my brother so much. Sometimes I felt like I was being abandoned and that no one cared about me. My advice to other SuperSibs! kids is to always have hope and never give up. I know it’s so hard at times and you think you’re all alone, but there are people out there who are going through the same situation you are. It’s important to instill in yourself that you are indeed special and important. One thing that helped me the most was keeping a journal. It was a great way to express myself and reveal my innermost feelings. — K.A.

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UNIT: SIBPACKS

Language Arts
Social Studies
Health

Grades 6-12

In this unit, students will learn about the impact that pediatric cancer has on siblings, create and perform role-plays to portray skills of empathy, learn that through their actions and community service can give emotional support to siblings, write for various purposes and audiences, and organize and implement a service project to fill backpacks with goodies for siblings.

UNIT: QUILTHUGS

Fine Arts
Language Arts
Social Studies

Grades 6-12

In this unit, students will learn about the impact that pediatric cancer has on siblings, about bereavement issues for siblings, and that through their actions and community service they can give emotional support to siblings; research the history of quilts, design and create a quilt or individual quilt squares, and write a reflective essay about their completed piece.

UNIT: HELPING HANDS TO SIBLINGS

Language Arts
Social Studies
Health
Technology
Personal Development
Faith Formation
Working With Others

Grades 9-12

Grades 11-12

In this unit, students will learn of the impact of a brother or sister’s cancer on siblings, that a need exists to help siblings have as normal a life as possible, and recognize that community action can contribute to the well being of siblings. Students will identify and assess their own strengths, talents, and abilities as related to the needs of the sibling, devise a process for linking siblings and their needs to appropriate service action and volunteers, and then provide service directly to siblings in specific acts of community service.

Young and teen siblings of children with cancer often feel forgotten, frightened, angry, jealous, grief stricken, stressed, depressed and even abandoned. Many siblings have said that the caring of friends, family and even strangers made a huge difference in their ability to cope and face the future. YOU can help siblings manage through this difficult time. Here are a few simple ideas:

	1.	Ask siblings how THEY’RE doing – and then REALLY listen. (Don’t always ask them for the medical report on their brother or sister. Siblings want to know that people genuinely care about them, too.) Just listening can make a world of difference.
	2.	Introduce them by their own name (not as “Jimmy’s brother or sister”).
	3.	Send fun mail addressed to the siblings -- individually, by name! (You can also make SuperSibs! QuiltHugs or SuperSibs! Smilecards, or join the SuperSibs! SitterSquad – check out www.supersibs.org for easy guidelines.)
	4.	Invite siblings to join you in fun activities or outings. Siblings need to laugh, have fun and be themselves, even (and especially) during these difficult years as their family battles cancer or manages through their grief.
	5.	Remind siblings that they’re not alone. Encourage the sibling to reach out to someone who will be a special support person – maybe that’s YOU
	6.	Celebrate the siblings’ own accomplishments. Remind them that they’re special – just for being who they are.
	7.	Teen siblings are often thrust into a “third parent” role, with extra responsibilities. Offer to help do these chores together!
	8.	Remember that this is a long journey for siblings. Don’t expect them to “just get over it” after a certain period of time. Your supportive friendship (for many years) can help siblings have strength, courage and hope.
	9.	Keep in mind that you can’t “catch cancer” from someone else, and that siblings didn’t do anything to cause their brother or sister to have cancer.

For additional information about the impact of cancer on siblings, refer a friend or learn more about the SuperSibs! program and how you can help, check out www.supersibs.org or call toll free at 866-444-SIBS (7427).